I Really Love That Song.

I just spent 20 minutes typing some mushy crap about friends and relationships. I stopped to read over it, and I found myself wondering what the hell I was whining about.

So... I deleted it.

I love my friends.

I've found myself to be in a pit of nostalgia that I can't seem to climb out of. Maybe it's because in the past three months, I've spent more time concerned about my health than I have in my entire life.

I've learned something. Either I am very much mortal, or being immortal is a cruel thing to not know about.

I had my second baby back in January. My pregnancy seemed to go on forever, and every time I went to the doctor there was some other could-be-complication with the baby. In the end, despite statistics, Isabel was born a perfectly healthy baby. However, my placenta had grown into my uterus, and during the removal, I almost bled to death, depending on who you ask. Seeing as I was very much unconscious at the time, I can't really say for sure how near death I was.

The experience left me feeling rather lonely. Everything went on as normal, which surprised me. I don't know what I expected to change, but I felt like something needed to change, or was supposed to change.

So I've been reflecting a lot, re-establishing (or trying to) relationships that I let deteriorate over the years, and letting go of the more toxic parts of my life. This rant is getting heavier than it was meant to be.

Nostalgia. Right.

I've found myself to be driving more, with the sun making an appearance and all. I miss just getting up and going, no where in particular, but watching intently along the way. It's a little harder to absorb everything when you're the one driving, but I keep thinking all find something. I don't know what it is I'm looking for, but it's out there somewhere, on the side of the road. I only hope it's not road kill.

I listen to the music I grew up with. I don't find myself really liking anything that's been released in the last decade. I'm sure there are exceptions, and I'm sure there would be more if I could actually bother to go looking for it, but I just can't get into it.

I want to pick up my guitar, but I'm waiting for the right moment, when I can just play for hours, because I know I won't want to put it down.

Anyway, if you're wondering if I ever think about you (and I actually know you), chances are I do.