L is for Passion.

I was sitting here, playing guitar, and I spontaneously got the urge to write about things, a lot of things. Things I probably shouldn't think about, let alone write about.

As I may or may not stated, several times, I'm a neurotic, nostalgic, passionate hypocrite.

Though my neurosis may be self diagnosed, I assure you, it is there, and often displays itself in bouts of hysteria. I am over emotional, to the point where commercials make me cry, and my frustrations often leave me feeling like there's a foam bat following me around, hitting me in the head, continuously. I can see it vividly in my thoughts, it's a bright read bat, with a black handle that sort of looks like it may be wrapped in electrical tape (the handle, not the bat), the cartoon is Archie-like in style, and I'm a super-hot red head with great ass *sigh*.

My nostalgia is mostly based on feeling, where as I probably wouldn't repeat much of the crazy shit I've done that has gotten me to where I am today, though I would love to re-visit some of the intense feelings that have made me who I am. Actually making it home after getting caught at the zoo in a tornado, great feeling. The tornado part, not so much.

When I find myself passionate towards something, or someone, it often leaves me feeling (and acting) bat-shit crazy (I wasn't sure what made bat shit crazy, so I googled the term, and found references to t-shirts and Tom Cruise, still not sure where the term comes from, but it definitely means beyond crazy). Perhaps this is where my neurosis comes into play, I'm totally the type of person to return to a place I haven't been in years, just to see if the air still "breathes" the same. My passions often disguise themselves as obsessions, so if I'm stalking you, be flattered.

As for me being a hypocrite, I believe at some point in our lives we all are hypocrites. However, with every passing day I find that I am picking up traits that I despise in other people. For example: I'm emo-blogging. Everything sucks. There. I said it.

Not everything sucks. A lot of things suck, like my inability to divide myself into two people so that I can be in two places at once, or in one place at the same time, which sounds kind of kinky, if you ask me. I think too much about things I can't change, and neglect the things I should be doing. In my head (I still appear as a red-head), when time runs out, everything just starts over again, only I'll know what to change (I experience a lot of déjà vu to support this delusion).

All in all, I've completely forgotten what it was I wanted to write about, so enjoy my self-abusive rant, and if I remember what it was, I just might write about it another time. I think I'll buy some hair dye this weekend.

Cheers.